Slang

WTH are these peeps talkin bout?

Tired of having no clue what your trader pals are talking about. Enjoy this glossary of common retail trader slang.

• stonks: A cutesy nickname for stocks.
• the pamp: A purposeful misspelling of pump. When the price of an asset goes up for no good reason (eg. there was a bad ER or the economy is completely in shambles due to some crisis) and no one can really explain why but decide to take part regardless.
• damp it: A purposeful misspelling of dump. When a the price of an asset starts to go down with high momentum it is often referred to as dumping since retail investors tend to imagine a large institutional investor making a phone call to liquidate their position on smaller traders.
• tina: an unsuspecting retail investor (normally portrayed as a female parent) who has no idea what to do with stonks except push the buy button. Tina's normally just buy when prices are up and sell when prices are low and get their stock picks from TV, friends and MSN News. This personification is something both good and bad traders have experienced themselves at some point.
• joe: The male equivalent of tina.
• brr brr: An onomatopoeia representing the sound of a money printer. In the US, the Federal Reserve (the federation of central banks that manage monetary policy) tends to print lots of money by bailing out the rich when a crisis hits. When asset prices should go down they don't because the Fed often saves them by buying something else that will support the falling asset prices by some indirect means. Use of this sound not only mocks the institution of the federal banking system but also supposed capitalism in the 21st century.
• fds: Long option contracts that expire withing the day (or within a few days) that are purchased as a pure gamble and are highly likely to lose all their value.
• lottos: A highly risky position entry (usually long options) that are purchased with prior profits as a pure gamble on an outcome unlikely to happen.
• whales: big traders who can move around the price with their piles of money.