Urgent Global Issue: Where Do I Lodge My Complaint?

[Dhull442]

Dear Esteemed Developers,

I come to you in a moment of great peril. I have stumbled upon a catastrophic issue within the code of this sacred repository, and I must urgently complain before the world spirals into chaos.

Now, you may be wondering, "Where does one write such a complaint?" Well, friends, I thought of flagging this to GitHub directly—because who better than the very gatekeepers of the code universe, right? But then it hit me like an unhandled exception... GitHub doesn’t care. Not about your repository, not about my emotional well-being, and certainly not about global economic stability.

This blatant indifference has sent me spiraling into an existential crisis. What kind of world are we living in where GitHub remains so apathetic to the struggles of an innocent developer like me? I mean, if this issue isn't addressed soon, we may well be on the brink of a code-induced apocalypse. I condemn this disregard for humanity to the deepest pits of hell! (Or at least to a very annoyed Slack channel.)

Anyway, back to the pressing question at hand—WHERE do I log this world-saving issue? Do I slap it onto your issue tracker like it's a to-do list item? Or perhaps I should send a carrier pigeon with encrypted payloads? Trust me when I say, this isn't just your average bug report. Oh no, this issue could be the key to solving much more than your repo’s problem—it might just have the potential to lower global inflation and bring peace to all nations.

So, let’s cut to the chase—where do I leave this complaint? Seriously. I mean, it’s not like I’m trying to single-handedly save the universe here. (Okay, maybe I am.)

Looking forward to your prompt reply because time is of the essence, and so is my sanity.

Warm regards,
Saksham,
Supreme Commander of Developers,
Head of Bug Reporting Division,
GitHub (totally legit, don’t fact-check)

P.S.: I’d say this issue is at least a P0, maybe even P-1 if that’s a thing.