019.asc

// 3345
//== Delayed Gratification

// 3346
//Blood for the blood god! Skulls for J. K. Rowling!

// 3347
//Draco had a stern expression on his face, and his green-trimmed robes somehow
//looked far more formal, serious, and well-turned-out than the same exact robes
//as worn by the two boys behind him.

// 3348
//“Talk,” said Draco.

// 3349
//“Yeah! Talk!”

// 3350
//“You heard da boss! Talk!”

// 3351
//“You two, on the other hand, __shut up.__”

// 3352
//The last session of classes on Friday was about to start, in that vast
//auditorium where all four Houses learned Defense, er, Battle Magic.

// 3353
//The last session of classes on Friday.

// 3354
//Harry was hoping that this class would be non-stressful, and that the brilliant
//Professor Quirrell would realize this was perhaps not the best time to single
//out Harry for anything. Harry had recovered a little, but…

// 3355
//…but just in case, it was probably best to get in a bit of stress relief first.

// 3356
//Harry leaned back in his chair and bestowed a look of great solemnity upon
//Draco and his minions.

// 3357
//“You ask, what is our aim?” Harry declaimed. “I can answer in one word. It is
//victory. Victory at all costs - Victory in spite of all terrors - Victory,
//however long and hard the road may be, for without victory there is no -”

// 3358
//“__Talk about Snape,__” Draco hissed. ”__What did you do?__”

// 3359
//Harry wiped away the fake solemnity and gave Draco a more serious look.

// 3360
//“You saw it,” Harry said. “Everyone saw it. I snapped my fingers.”

// 3361
//“__Harry! Stop teasing me!__”

// 3362
//So he’d been promoted to __Harry__ now. Interesting. And in fact Harry was
//fairly sure that he was meant to notice that, and feel bad if he didn’t respond
//somehow…

// 3363
//Harry tapped his ears and gave a significant glance at the minions.

// 3364
//“They won’t talk,” said Draco.

// 3365
//“Draco,” Harry said, “I’m going to be one hundred percent honest here and say
//that yesterday I was not particularly impressed with Mr. Goyle’s cunning.”

// 3366
//Mr. Goyle winced.

// 3367
//“Me neither,” said Draco. “I explained to him that I ended up owing you a favor
//because of it.” (Mr. Goyle winced again.) “But there __is__ a big
//difference between that sort of mistake and being indiscreet. That really is
//something they’ve been trained from childhood to understand.”

// 3368
//“All right then,” Harry said. He lowered his voice, even though the background
//noises had gone to blurs in Draco’s presence. “I deduced one of Severus’s
//secrets and did a bit of blackmail.”

// 3369
//Draco’s expression hardened. “Good, now tell me something you didn’t tell in
//strict confidence to the idiots in Gryffindor, meaning that was the story you
//__wanted__ to get all over the school.”

// 3370
//Harry grinned involuntarily and he knew that Draco had caught it.

// 3371
//“What is Severus saying?” Harry said.

// 3372
//“That he hadn’t realized how sensitive the feelings of young children were,”
//Draco said. “Even in Slytherin! Even to __me!__”

// 3373
//“Are you sure,” Harry said, “that you want to know something your Head of House
//would rather you not know?”

// 3374
//“Yes,” Draco said without hesitation.

// 3375
//__Interesting.__ “Then you really are going to send your minions away
//first, because I’m not sure I can believe everything you believe about them.”

// 3376
//Draco nodded. “Okay.”

// 3377
//Mr. Crabbe and Mr. Goyle looked __very__ unhappy. “Boss -” said Mr.
//Crabbe.

// 3378
//“You’ve given Mr. Potter no reason to trust you,” Draco said. “Go!”

// 3379
//They left.

// 3380
//“In particular,” Harry said, lowering his voice even further, “I’m not
//__entirely__ sure that they wouldn’t just report what I said to Lucius.”

// 3381
//“Father wouldn’t __do__ that!” Draco said, looking genuinely aghast.
//“They’re __mine!__”

// 3382
//“I’m sorry, Draco,” Harry said. “I’m just not sure I can believe everything you
//believe about your father. Imagine it was your secret and me telling you my
//father wouldn’t do that.”

// 3383
//Draco nodded slowly. “You’re right. __I’m__ sorry, Harry. It was wrong of
//me to ask it of you.”

// 3384
//__How did I get __this__ promoted? Shouldn’t he hate me now? __Harry
//had the feeling he was looking at something exploitable… he just wished his
//brain wasn’t so exhausted. Ordinarily he would have loved to try his hand at
//some complicated plotting.

// 3385
//“Anyway,” Harry said. “Trade. I tell you a fact that isn’t on the grapevine,
//and does not __go__ on the grapevine, and in __particular__ does not
//go to your father, and in return you tell me what you and Slytherin think about
//the whole business.”

// 3386
//“Deal!”

// 3387
//Now to make this as vague as possible… something that wouldn’t hurt much even
//if it did get out… “What I said was true. I did discover one of Severus’s
//secrets, and I did do some blackmail. But Severus wasn’t the only person
//involved.”

// 3388
//“__I knew it!__” Draco said exultantly.

// 3389
//Harry’s stomach sank. He had apparently said something very significant and he
//did not know why. This was not a good sign.

// 3390
//“All right,” Draco said. He was grinning widely now. “So here’s what the
//reaction was like in Slytherin. First, all the idiots were like, ‘We hate Harry
//Potter! Let’s go beat him up!’”

// 3391
//Harry choked. “What is __wrong__ with the Sorting Hat? That’s not
//Slytherin, it’s __Gryffindor__ -”

// 3392
//“Not all children are prodigies,” Draco said, though he was smiling in a sort
//of nasty-conspiratorial way, as though to suggest that he privately agreed with
//Harry’s opinion. “And it took around fifteen seconds for someone to explain to
//them why this might not be such a favor to Snape, so you’re fine. Anyway, after
//that was the second wave of idiots, the ones who were saying, ‘Looks like Harry
//Potter was just another do-gooder after all.’”

// 3393
//“And then?” Harry said, smiling even though he had no idea why __that__
//was stupid.

// 3394
//“And then the actual smart people started talking. It’s obvious that you found
//a way to put a __lot__ of pressure on Snape. And while that could be more
//than one thing… the obvious __next__ thought is that it has something to
//do with Snape’s unknown hold over Dumbledore. Am I right?”

// 3395
//“No comment,” Harry said. At least his brain was processing this part
//correctly. House Slytherin __had__ wondered why Severus wasn’t getting
//fired. And they’d concluded that Severus was blackmailing Dumbledore. Could
//that actually be true…? But Dumbledore hadn’t seemed to act like it…

// 3396
//Draco went on talking. “And the __next__ thing the smart people pointed
//out was that if you could put enough pressure on Snape to make him leave half
//of Hogwarts alone, that meant you probably had enough power to get rid of him
//entirely, if you wanted. What you did to him was a humiliation, just the same
//way he tried to humiliate you - but you left us our Head of House.”

// 3397
//Harry made his smile wider.

// 3398
//“And then the __really__ smart people,” Draco said, his face now serious,
//“went off and had a little discussion by themselves, and someone pointed out
//that it would be a very stupid thing to leave an enemy around like that. If you
//could break his hold over Dumbledore, the obvious thing would be to just do it.
//Dumbledore would kick Snape out of Hogwarts and maybe even have him killed,
//he’d be __very__ grateful to you, and you wouldn’t have to worry about
//Snape sneaking into your dorm room at night with interesting potions.”

// 3399
//Harry’s face was now neutral. He had not thought of that and he really, really
//should have. “And from this you concluded…?”

// 3400
//“Snape’s hold was some secret of Dumbledore’s and __you’ve got the
//secret!__” Draco was looking exultant. “It can’t be powerful enough to destroy
//Dumbledore entirely, or Snape would have used it by now. Snape refuses to use
//his hold for anything except staying king of Slytherin House in Hogwarts, and
//he doesn’t always get what he wants even then, so it must have limits. But it’s
//__got__ to be really good! Father’s been trying to get Snape to tell him
//for __years!__”

// 3401
//“And,” Harry said, “now Lucius thinks maybe __I__ can tell him. Did you
//already get an owl -”

// 3402
//“I will tonight,” Draco said, and laughed. “It will say,” his voice took on a
//different, more formal cadence, “__My beloved son: I’ve already told you
//of Harry Potter’s potential importance. As you have already realized, his
//importance has now become greater and more urgent. If you see any possible
//avenue of friendship or point of pressure with him, you must pursue it, and the
//full resources of Malfoy are at your disposal if needed.__”

// 3403
//Gosh. “Well,” Harry said, “not commenting on whether or not your whole
//complicated edifice of theory is true, let me just say that we are not quite
//such good friends as yet.”

// 3404
//“I know,” Draco said. Then his face turned __very__ serious, and his voice
//grew quiet even within the blur. “Harry, has it occurred to you that if you
//know something Dumbledore doesn’t want known, Dumbledore might simply have you
//killed? And it would turn the Boy-Who-Lived from a potential competing leader
//into a valuable martyr, too.”

// 3405
//“No comment,” Harry said yet again. He hadn’t thought of that last part,
//either. Didn’t __seem__ to be Dumbledore’s style… but…

// 3406
//“Harry,” Draco said, “you’ve obviously got __incredible __talent, but
//you’ve got no training and no mentors and you do stupid things sometimes and
//__you really need an advisor who knows how to do this or you’re going to
//get hurt!__” Draco’s face was fierce.

// 3407
//“Ah,” Harry said. “An advisor like Lucius?”

// 3408
//“Like __me!__” said Draco. “I’ll promise to keep your secrets from Father,
//from __everyone,__ I’ll just help you figure out whatever you want to do!”

// 3409
//Wow.

// 3410
//Harry saw that zombie-Quirrell was staggering in through the doors.

// 3411
//“Class is about to start,” said Harry. “I’ll think about what you said, there’s
//lots of times I __do__ wish I had all your training, it’s just I don’t
//know how I can trust you so quickly -”

// 3412
//“You shouldn’t,” Draco said, “it’s too soon. See? I’ll give you good advice
//even if it hurts me. But we should maybe __hurry up__ and become closer
//friends.”

// 3413
//“I’m open to that,” said Harry, who was already trying to figure out how to
//exploit it.

// 3414
//“Another bit of advice,” Draco said hurriedly as Quirrell slouched toward his
//desk, “right now everyone in Slytherin’s wondering about you, so if you’re
//courting us, which I think you are, you should do something that signals
//friendship to Slytherin. __Soon__, like today or tomorrow.”

// 3415
//“Letting Severus go on awarding extra House points to Slytherin wasn’t enough?”
//No reason Harry couldn’t take credit for it.

// 3416
//Draco’s eyes flickered with realization, then he said rapidly, “It’s not the
//same, trust me, it’s got to be something obvious. Push your mudblood rival
//Granger into a wall or something, everyone in Slytherin will know what that
//means -”

// 3417
//“That is __not__ how it works in Ravenclaw, Draco! If you have to push
//someone into a wall it means your brain is too __weak__ to beat them the
//right way and everyone in Ravenclaw __knows that__ -”

// 3418
//The screen on Harry’s desk flickered on, provoking a sudden wash of nostalgia
//for television and computers.

// 3419
//“Ahem,” said Professor Quirrell’s voice, seeming to speak personally to Harry
//out of the screen. “Please take your seats.”

// 3420
//And the children were all seated and staring at the repeater screens on their
//desks, or looking down directly at the great white marble stage where Professor
//Quirrell stood, leaning on his desk atop the small dais of darker marble.

// 3421
//“Today,” said Professor Quirrell, “I had planned to teach you your first
//defensive spell, a small shield that was the ancestor of today’s
//__Protego.__ But on second thought I have changed today’s lesson plan in
//the light of recent events.”

// 3422
//Professor Quirrell’s gaze searched the rows of seats. Harry winced from where
//he was sitting, in the back row. He had a feeling he knew who was about to be
//called on.

// 3423
//“Draco, of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Malfoy,” said Professor
//Quirrell.

// 3424
//Whew.

// 3425
//“Yes, Professor?” said Draco. His voice was amplified, seeming to come from the
//repeater screen on Harry’s desk, which showed Draco’s face as he spoke. Then
//the screen shifted back to Professor Quirrell, who said:

// 3426
//“Is it your ambition to become the next Dark Lord?”

// 3427
//“That’s an odd question, Professor,” said Draco. “I mean, who’d be dumb enough
//to admit it?”

// 3428
//A few students laughed, but not many.

// 3429
//“Indeed,” said Professor Quirrell. “So while there’s no point in asking any of
//you, it would not surprise me in the slightest if there were a student or two
//in my classes who harbored ambitions of being the next Dark Lord. After all,
//__I__ wanted to be the next Dark Lord when __I__ was a young
//Slytherin.”

// 3430
//This time the laughter was much more widespread.

// 3431
//“Well, it __is__ the House of the ambitious, after all,” Professor
//Quirrell said, smiling. “I didn’t realize until later that what I really
//enjoyed was Battle Magic, and that my true ambition was to become a great
//fighting wizard and someday teach at Hogwarts. In any case, when I was thirteen
//years old, I read through the historical sections of the Hogwarts library,
//scrutinizing the lives and fates of past Dark Lords, and I made a list of all
//the mistakes that __I__ would never make when __I__ was a Dark Lord
//-”

// 3432
//Harry giggled before he could stop himself.

// 3433
//“Yes, Mr. Potter, very amusing. So, Mr. Potter, can you guess what was the very
//first item on that list?”

// 3434
//__Great.__ “Um… never use a complicated way of dealing with an enemy when
//you can just Abracadabra them?”

// 3435
//“The __term,__ Mr. Potter, is __Avada Kedavra,__” Professor
//Quirrell’s voice sounded a bit sharp for some reason, “and no, that was
//__not__ on the list I made at age thirteen. Would you care to guess
//again?”

// 3436
//“Ah… never brag to anyone about your evil master plan?”

// 3437
//Professor Quirrell laughed. “Ah, now __that__ was number two. My, Mr.
//Potter, have we been reading the same books?”

// 3438
//There was more laughter, with an undertone of nervousness. Harry clenched his
//jaw tightly shut and said nothing. A denial would accomplish nothing.

// 3439
//“But no. The __first__ item was, ‘I will not go around provoking strong,
//vicious enemies.’ The history of the world would be very different if
//Mornelithe Falconsbane or Hitler had grasped that elementary point. Now
//__if,__ Mr. Potter - just __if__ by some chance you harbor an
//ambition similar to the one I held as a young Slytherin - even so, I hope it is
//not your ambition to become a __stupid__ Dark Lord.”

// 3440
//“Professor Quirrell,” Harry said, gritting his teeth, “I am a
//__Ravenclaw__ and it is not my ambition to be stupid, period. I know that
//what I did today was dumb. But it wasn’t __Dark!__ I was __not__ the
//one who threw the first punch in that fight!”

// 3441
//“You, Mr. Potter, are an idiot. But then so was I at your age. Thus I
//anticipated your answer and altered today’s lesson plan accordingly. Mr.
//Gregory Goyle, if you would come forward, please?”

// 3442
//There was a surprised pause in the classroom. Harry hadn’t been expecting that.

// 3443
//Neither, from the looks of it, had Mr. Goyle, who looked rather uncertain and
//worried as he mounted the marble stage and approached the dais.

// 3444
//Professor Quirrell straightened from where he was leaning on the desk. He
//looked suddenly stronger, and his hands formed fists and he drew himself up
//into a clearly recognizable martial arts stance.

// 3445
//Harry’s eyes widened at the sight, and he realized why Mr. Goyle had been
//called up.

// 3446
//“Most wizards,” Professor Quirrell said, “do not bother much with what a Muggle
//would term martial arts. Is not a wand stronger than a fist? This attitude is
//stupid. Wands are held in fists. If you want to be a great fighting wizard you
//__must__ learn martial arts to a level which would impress even a Muggle.
//I will now demonstrate a certain vitally important technique, which I learned
//in a __dojo,__ a Muggle school of martial arts, of which I shall speak
//more shortly. For now…” Professor Quirrell took several steps forward, still in
//stance, advancing on where Mr. Goyle stood. “Mr. Goyle, I will ask you to
//attack me.”

// 3447
//“Professor Quirrell,” said Mr. Goyle, his voice now amplified as the
//professor’s was, “can I ask what level -”

// 3448
//“Sixth __dan__. You will not be hurt and neither will I. And if you see an
//opening, please take it.”

// 3449
//Mr. Goyle nodded, looking much relieved.

// 3450
//“Note,” Professor Quirrell said, “that Mr. Goyle was afraid to attack someone
//who did not know martial arts to an acceptable level, for fear that I, or he,
//would be hurt. Mr. Goyle’s attitude is exactly correct and he has earned three
//Quirrell points for it. Now, fight!”

// 3451
//The young boy blurred forward, fists flying, and the Professor blocked every
//blow, dancing backward, Quirrell kicked and Goyle blocked and spun and tried to
//trip Quirrell with a sweeping leg and Quirrell hopped over it and it was all
//happening too fast for Harry to make sense of what was going on and then Goyle
//was on his back with his legs pushing and Quirrell was actually __flying
//through the air__ and then he hit the ground shoulder first and rolled.

// 3452
//“Stop!” cried Professor Quirrell from the ground, sounding a little panicked.
//“You win!”

// 3453
//Mr. Goyle pulled up so sharply he staggered, almost tripping and falling from
//the aborted momentum of his headlong charge toward Professor Quirrell. His face
//showed utter shock.

// 3454
//Professor Quirrell arched his back and bounced to his feet using a peculiar
//springing motion that made no use of his hands.

// 3455
//There was a silence in the classroom, a silence born of total confusion.

// 3456
//“Mr. Goyle,” said Professor Quirrell, “what vitally important technique did I
//demonstrate?”

// 3457
//“How to fall correctly when someone throws you,” said Mr. Goyle. “It’s one of
//the very first lessons you learn -”

// 3458
//“That too,” said Professor Quirrell.

// 3459
//There was a pause.

// 3460
//“The vitally important technique which I demonstrated,” said Professor
//Quirrell, “was how to lose. You may go, Mr. Goyle, thank you.”

// 3461
//Mr. Goyle walked off the platform, looking rather bewildered. Harry felt the
//same way.

// 3462
//Professor Quirrell walked back to his desk and resumed leaning on it.
//“Sometimes we forget the most basic things, since it has been too long since we
//learned them. I realized I had done the same with my own lesson plan. You do
//not teach students to throw until you have taught them to fall. And I must not
//teach you to fight if you do not understand how to lose.”

// 3463
//Professor Quirrell’s face hardened, and Harry thought he saw a hint of pain, a
//touch of sorrow, in those eyes. “I learned how to lose in a __dojo__ in
//Asia, which, as any Muggle knows, is where all the good martial artists live.
//This __dojo__ taught a style which had a reputation among fighting wizards
//as adapting well to magical dueling. The Master of that __dojo__ - an old
//man by Muggle standards - was that style’s greatest living teacher. He had no
//idea that magic existed, of course. I applied to study there, and was one of
//the few students accepted that year, from among many contenders. There might
//have been a tiny bit of special influence involved.”

// 3464
//There was some laughter in the classroom. Harry didn’t share it. That hadn’t
//been right at all.

// 3465
//“In any case. During one of my first fights, after I had been beaten in a
//particularly humiliating fashion, I lost control and attacked my sparring
//partner -”

// 3466
//__Yikes.__

// 3467
//“- thankfully with my fists, rather than my magic. The Master, surprisingly,
//did not expel me on the spot. But he told me that there was a flaw in my
//temperament. He explained it to me, and I knew that he was right. And then he
//said that I would learn how to lose.”

// 3468
//Professor Quirrell’s face was expressionless.

// 3469
//“Upon his strict orders, all of the students of the __dojo__ lined up. One
//by one, they approached me. I was __not__ to defend myself. I was only to
//beg for mercy. One by one, they slapped me, or punched me, and pushed me to the
//ground. Some of them spat on me. They called me awful names in their language.
//And to each one, I had to say, ‘I lose!’ and similar such things, such as ‘I
//beg you to stop!’ and ‘I admit you’re better than me!’”

// 3470
//Harry was trying to imagine this and simply failing. There was no way something
//like that could have happened to the dignified Professor Quirrell.

// 3471
//“I was a prodigy of Battle Magic even then. With wandless magic alone I could
//have killed everyone in that dojo. I did not do so. I learned to lose. To this
//day I remember it as one of the most unpleasant hours of my life. And when I
//left that dojo eight months later - which was not nearly enough time, but was
//all I could afford to spend - the Master told me that he hoped I understood why
//that had been necessary. And I told him that it was one of the most valuable
//lessons I had ever learned. Which was, and is, true.”

// 3472
//Professor Quirrell’s face turned bitter. “You are wondering where this
//marvelous __dojo__ is, and whether you can study there. You cannot. For
//not long afterward, another would-be student came to that hidden place, to that
//remote mountain. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”

// 3473
//There was the sound of many breaths being drawn in simultaneously. Harry felt
//sick to his stomach. He knew what was coming.

// 3474
//“The Dark Lord came to that school openly, without disguise, glowing red eyes
//and all. The students tried to bar his way and he simply Apparated through.
//There was terror there, but discipline, and the Master came forth. And the Dark
//Lord demanded - not asked, but demanded - to be taught.”

// 3475
//Professor Quirrell’s face was very hard. “Perhaps the Master had read too many
//books telling the lie that a true martial artist could defeat even demons. For
//whatever reason, the Master refused. The Dark Lord asked why he could not be a
//student. The Master told him he had no patience, and that was when the Dark
//Lord ripped his tongue out.”

// 3476
//There was a collective gasp.

// 3477
//“You can guess what happened next. The students tried to rush the Dark Lord and
//fell over, stunned where they stood. And then…”

// 3478
//Professor Quirrell’s voice faltered for a moment, then resumed.

// 3479
//“There is an Unforgiveable Curse, the Cruciatus Curse, which produces
//unbearable pain. If the Cruciatus is extended for longer than a few minutes it
//produces permanent insanity. One by one, the Dark Lord Crucioed the Master’s
//students into insanity, and then finished them off with the Killing Curse,
//while the Master was forced to watch. When all his students had died in this
//way, the Master followed. I learned this from the single surviving student,
//whom the Dark Lord had left alive to tell the tale, and who had been a friend
//of mine…”

// 3480
//Professor Quirrell turned away, and when he turned back a moment later, he once
//again seemed calm and composed.

// 3481
//“Dark Wizards cannot keep their tempers,” Professor Quirrell said quietly. “It
//is a nearly universal flaw of the species, and anyone who makes a habit of
//fighting them soon learns to rely on it. Understand that the Dark Lord did
//__not__ win that day. His goal was to learn martial arts, and yet he left
//without a single lesson. The Dark Lord was foolish to wish that story retold.
//It did not show his strength, but rather an exploitable weakness.”

// 3482
//Professor Quirrell’s gaze focused on a single child in the classroom.

// 3483
//“Harry Potter,” Professor Quirrell said.

// 3484
//“Yes,” Harry said, his voice hoarse.

// 3485
//“What __precisely__ did you do wrong today, Mr. Potter?”

// 3486
//Harry felt like he was going to throw up. “I lost my temper.”

// 3487
//“That is __not__ precise,” said Professor Quirrell. “I will describe it
//more exactly. There are many animals which have what are called dominance
//contests. They rush at each other with horns - trying to knock each other down,
//not gore each other. They fight with their paws - with claws sheathed. But why
//with their claws sheathed? Surely, if they used their claws, they would stand a
//better chance of winning? But then their enemy might unsheathe their claws as
//well, and instead of resolving the dominance contest with a winner and a loser,
//both of them might be severely hurt.”

// 3488
//Professor Quirrell gaze seemed to come straight out at Harry from the repeater
//screen. “What you demonstrated today, Mr. Potter, is that - unlike those
//animals who keep their claws sheathed and accept the results - you do not know
//how to lose a dominance contest. When a __Hogwarts professor__ challenged
//you, you did not back down. When it looked like you might lose, you unsheathed
//your claws, heedless of the danger. You __escalated,__ and then you
//escalated __again.__ It started with a slap at you from Professor Snape,
//who was obviously dominant over you. Instead of losing, you slapped back and
//lost ten points from Ravenclaw. Soon you were talking about leaving Hogwarts.
//The fact that you escalated even further in some unknown direction, and somehow
//won at the end, does not change the fact that you are an idiot.”

// 3489
//“I understand,” Harry said. His throat was dry. That __had__ been precise.
//__Frighteningly__ precise. Now that Professor Quirrell had said it, Harry
//could see in hindsight that it was an __exactly__ accurate description of
//what had happened. When someone’s model of you was that good, you had to wonder
//whether they were right about other things too, like your intent to kill.

// 3490
//“The __next__ time, Mr. Potter, that you choose to escalate a contest
//rather than lose, you may lose __all__ the stakes you place on the table.
//I cannot guess what they were today. I can guess that they were far, far too
//high for the loss of ten House points.”

// 3491
//Like the fate of magical Britain. That was what he’d done.

// 3492
//‘‘You will protest that you were trying to help all of Hogwarts, a much more
//important goal worthy of great risks. That is a __lie.__ If you had been
//-”

// 3493
//“I would have taken the slap, waited, and picked the best possible time to make
//my move,” Harry said, his voice hoarse. “But that would have meant
//__losing__. Letting him be dominant over me. It was what the Dark Lord
//couldn’t do with the Master he wanted to learn from.”

// 3494
//Professor Quirrell nodded. “I see that you have understood perfectly. And so,
//Mr. Potter, today you are going to learn how to lose.”

// 3495
//“I -”

// 3496
//“I will not hear any objections, Mr. Potter. It is evident both that you need
//this and that you are strong enough to take it. I assure you that your
//experience will not be so harsh as what I went through, though you may well
//remember it as the worst fifteen minutes of your young life.”

// 3497
//Harry swallowed. “Professor Quirrell,” he said in a small voice, “can we do
//this some other time?”

// 3498
//“No,” Professor Quirrell said simply. “You are five days into your Hogwarts
//education and already this has happened. Today is Friday. Our __next__
//defense class is on Wednesday. Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…
//No, we do __not__ have time to wait.”

// 3499
//There were a few laughs at this, but very few.

// 3500
//“Please consider it an order from your professor, Mr. Potter. What I would like
//to say is that otherwise I will not teach you any offensive spells, because I
//would then hear that you had severely hurt or even killed someone.
//Unfortunately I am told that your fingers are already powerful weapons. Do not
//snap them at any time during this lesson.”

// 3501
//More scattered laughter, sounding rather nervous.

// 3502
//Harry felt like he might cry. “Professor Quirrell, if you do anything like what
//you talked about, it’s going to make me angry, and I really would rather not
//get angry again today -”

// 3503
//“The point is __not__ to avoid getting angry,” Professor Quirrell said,
//his face looking grave. “Anger is natural. You need to learn how to lose even
//when you are angry. Or at least __pretend__ to lose so that you can
//__plan__ your vengeance. As I did with Mr. Goyle today, unless of course
//any of you think he really __is__ better -”

// 3504
//“I’m not!” shouted Mr. Goyle from his desk, sounding a little frantic. “I know
//you didn’t really lose! Please don’t plan any vengeances!”

// 3505
//Harry felt sick to his stomach. Professor Quirrell didn’t know about his
//mysterious dark side. “Professor, we really need to talk about this after class
//-”

// 3506
//“We will,” Professor Quirrell said in the tones of a promise. “After you learn
//how to lose.” His face was serious. “It should go without saying that I will
//exclude anything which could injure you or even cause you significant pain. The
//pain will come from the difficulty of losing, instead of fighting back and
//escalating the battle until you win.”

// 3507
//Harry’s breath was coming in short, panicky pants. He was more frightened than
//he’d been after leaving the Potions classroom. “Professor Quirrell,” he managed
//to say, “I don’t want you to get fired over this -”

// 3508
//“I will not be,” Professor Quirrell said, “if __you__ tell them afterward
//that it was necessary. And this I trust you to do.” For a moment Professor
//Quirrell’s voice turned very dry. “Believe me, they have tolerated worse in
//their hallways. This case will be exceptional only in that it happens within a
//classroom.”

// 3509
//“Professor Quirrell,” Harry whispered, but he thought his voice was still being
//repeated everywhere, “do you really believe that if I don’t do this, I might
//hurt someone?”

// 3510
//“Yes,” Professor Quirrell said simply.

// 3511
//“Then,” Harry felt nauseous, “I’ll do it.”

// 3512
//Professor Quirrell turned to regard the Slytherins. “So… with the full approval
//of your teacher, and in such a fashion that Snape cannot be blamed for your
//actions… do any of you wish to show your dominance over the Boy-Who-Lived?
//Shove him around, push him to the ground, hear him beg for your mercy?”

// 3513
//Five hands went up.

// 3514
//“Everyone with your hand raised, you are an absolute idiot. What part of
//__pretending__ to lose did you not understand? If Harry Potter does become
//the next Dark Lord he will hunt you down and kill you after he graduates.”

// 3515
//The five hands dropped abruptly back to their desks.

// 3516
//“I won’t,” Harry said, his voice coming out rather weakly. “I swear never to
//take vengeance upon those who help me learn to lose. Professor Quirrell… would
//you __please__… __stop__ that?”

// 3517
//Professor Quirrell sighed. “I __am__ sorry, Mr. Potter. I realize that you
//must find this equally annoying whether you intend to become a Dark Lord or
//not. But those children __also__ had an important life lesson to learn.
//Would it be acceptable if I awarded you a Quirrell point in apology?”

// 3518
//“Make it two,” Harry said.

// 3519
//There was a current of surprised laughter, defusing some of the tension.

// 3520
//“Done,” Professor Quirrell said.

// 3521
//“And after I graduate I’m going to hunt you down and __tickle__ you.”

// 3522
//There was more laughter, although Professor Quirrell didn’t smile.

// 3523
//Harry felt like he was wrestling an anaconda, trying to force the conversation
//through the narrow course that would make people realize he wasn’t a Dark Lord
//after all… __why__ was Professor Quirrell so suspicious of him?

// 3524
//“Professor,” said Draco’s unamplified voice. “It is also not my own ambition to
//become a stupid Dark Lord.”

// 3525
//There was a shocked silence in the classroom.

// 3526
//__You don’t have to do this!__ Harry almost blurted out loud, but checked
//himself in time; Draco might not wish it known that he was doing this out of
//friendship for Harry… or out of the desire to appear friendly…

// 3527
//Calling __that__ a __desire to appear friendly__ made Harry feel
//small, and mean. If Draco had intended to impress him, it was working
//perfectly.

// 3528
//Professor Quirrell was regarding Draco gravely. “__You__ worry that you
//cannot pretend to lose, Mr. Malfoy? That this flaw which describes Mr. Potter
//also describes you? __Surely__ your father taught you better.”

// 3529
//“When it comes to talking, maybe,” said Draco, now on the repeater screen. “Not
//when it comes to being shoved around and pushed to the ground. I want to be
//fully as strong as you, Professor Quirrell.”

// 3530
//Professor Quirrell’s eyebrows went up and stayed up. “I am afraid, Mr. Malfoy,”
//he said after a time, “that the arrangements I made for Mr. Potter, involving
//some older Slytherins who will be told __afterward__ how stupid they were,
//would not carry over onto you. But it is my professional opinion that you are
//already very strong. Should I hear that you have failed, as Mr. Potter failed
//today, I will make the appropriate arrangements and apologize to you and
//whomever you have hurt. I do not think this will be necessary, however.”

// 3531
//“I understand, professor,” said Draco.

// 3532
//Professor Quirrell looked over the class. “Does anyone else wish to become
//strong?”

// 3533
//Some students glanced around nervously. Some, Harry thought from his back row,
//looked like they were opening their mouths but not saying anything. In the end,
//no one spoke.

// 3534
//“Draco Malfoy will be one of the generals of your year’s armies,” said
//Professor Quirrell, “should he deign to engage in that after-school activity.
//And now, Mr. Potter, please come forward.”

// 3535
//__Yes,__ Professor Quirrell had said, __it must be in front of
//everyone, in front of your friends, because that is where Snape confronted you
//and that is where you must learn to lose.__

// 3536
//So now the first year watched. In magically enforced silence, and with requests
//from both Harry and the professor not to intervene. Hermione had her face
//turned away, but she hadn’t spoken out or even given him any sort of
//significant look, maybe because she’d been there in Potions too.

// 3537
//Harry stood on a soft blue mat, such as might be found in a Muggle dojo, which
//Professor Quirrell had laid out upon the floor for when Harry was pushed down.

// 3538
//Harry was frightened of what he might do. If Professor Quirrell was right about
//his intent to kill…

// 3539
//Harry’s wand lay on Professor Quirrell’s desk, not because Harry knew any
//spells that could defend him, but because otherwise (Harry thought) he might
//have tried to jam it through someone’s eye socket. His pouch lay there, now
//containing his protected but still potentially fragile Time-Turner.

// 3540
//Harry had pleaded with Professor Quirrell to Transfigure him some boxing gloves
//and lock them on his hands. Professor Quirrell had given him a look of silent
//understanding, and refused.

// 3541
//__I will not go for their eyes, I will not go for their eyes, I will not
//go for their eyes, it would be the end of my life in Hogwarts, I’ll be
//arrested,__ Harry chanted to himself, trying to hammer the thought into his
//brain, hoping it would stay there if his intent to kill took over.

// 3542
//Professor Quirrell returned, escorting thirteen older Slytherins of different
//years. Harry recognized one of them as the one he’d hit with a pie. Two others
//from that confrontation were also present. The one who’d said to stop, that
//they really shouldn’t do this, was missing.

// 3543
//“I repeat,” Professor Quirrell said, sounding very stern, “Potter is
//__not__ to be really hurt. Any and all __accidents__ will be treated
//as deliberate. Do you understand?”

// 3544
//The older Slytherins nodded, grinning.

// 3545
//“Then please feel free to take the Boy-Who-Lived down a few pegs,” Professor
//Quirrell said, with a twisted smile that only the first-years understood.

// 3546
//By some form of mutual consent, the pie-target was at the front of the group.

// 3547
//“Potter,” said Professor Quirrell, “meet Mr. Peregrine Derrick. He is better
//than you and he is about to show you that.”

// 3548
//Derrick strode forward and Harry’s brain screamed discordantly, he must not run
//away, he must not fight back -

// 3549
//Derrick stopped an arm’s length away from Harry.

// 3550
//Harry wasn’t angry yet, just frightened. And that meant he beheld a teenage boy
//fully half a meter taller than himself, with clearly defined muscles, facial
//hair, and a grin of terrible anticipation.

// 3551
//“Ask him not to hurt you,” Professor Quirrell said. “Perhaps if he sees that
//you’re pathetic enough, he’ll decide that you’re boring, and go away.”

// 3552
//There was laughter from the watching older Slytherins.

// 3553
//“Please,” Harry said, his voice faltering, “don’t, hurt, me…”

// 3554
//“That didn’t sound very sincere,” said Professor Quirrell.

// 3555
//Derrick’s smile widened. The clumsy imbecile was looking very superior and…

// 3556
//…Harry’s blood temperature was dropping…

// 3557
//“Please don’t hurt me,” Harry tried again.

// 3558
//Professor Quirrell shook his head. “How in Merlin’s name did you manage to make
//that sound like an insult, Potter? There is only one response you can possibly
//expect from Mr. Derrick.”

// 3559
//Derrick stepped forward deliberately, and bumped into Harry.

// 3560
//Harry staggered back a few feet and, before he could stop himself, straightened
//up icily.

// 3561
//“Wrong,” said Professor Quirrell, “wrong, wrong, wrong.”

// 3562
//“You bumped into me, Potter,” Derrick said. “Apologize.”

// 3563
//“I’m sorry!”

// 3564
//“You don’t __sound__ sorry,” said Derrick.

// 3565
//Harry’s eyes widened in indignation, he __had__ managed to make that sound
//pleading -

// 3566
//Derrick pushed him, hard, and Harry fell to the mat on his hands and knees.

// 3567
//The blue fabric seemed to waver in Harry’s vision, not far away.

// 3568
//He was beginning to doubt Professor Quirrell’s real motives in teaching this
//so-called __lesson.__

// 3569
//A foot rested on Harry’s buttocks and a moment later Harry was pushed hard to
//the side, sending him sprawling on his back.

// 3570
//Derrick laughed. “This is __fun,__” he said.

// 3571
//All he had to do was say it was over. And report the whole thing to the
//Headmaster’s office. That would be the end of this __Defense Professor__
//and his ill-fated stay at Hogwarts and… Professor McGonagall would be angry
//about that, but…

// 3572
//(An image of Professor McGonagall’s face flashed before his eyes, she didn’t
//look angry, just sad -)

// 3573
//“Now tell him that he’s better than you, Potter,” said Professor Quirrell’s
//voice.

// 3574
//“You’re, better, than, me.”

// 3575
//Harry started to raise himself and Derrick put a foot on his chest and shoved
//him back down to the mat.

// 3576
//The world was becoming transparent as crystal. Lines of action and their
//consequences stretched out before him in utter clarity. The fool wouldn’t be
//expecting him to strike back, a quick hit in the groin would stun him long
//enough for -

// 3577
//“Try again,” said Professor Quirrell and with a sudden sharp motion Harry
//rolled and sprang to his feet and whirled on where stood his real enemy, the
//Defense Professor -

// 3578
//Professor Quirrell said, “You have no patience.”

// 3579
//Harry faltered. His mind, well-honed in pessimism, drew a picture of a wizened
//old man with blood pouring from his mouth after Harry had ripped his tongue out
//-

// 3580
//A moment later, Derrick pushed Harry to the mat again and then sat down on him,
//sending Harry’s breath whooshing out.

// 3581
//“Stop!” Harry screamed. “Please stop!”

// 3582
//“Better,” said Professor Quirrell. “That even sounded sincere.”

// 3583
//It __had__ been. That was the horrible thing, the sickening thing, it
//__had__ been sincere. Harry was panting rapidly, fear and cold anger both
//flushing through him -

// 3584
//“Lose,” said Professor Quirrell.

// 3585
//“I, lose,” Harry forced out.

// 3586
//“I like it,” Derrick said from on top of him. “Lose some more.”

// 3587
//Hands shoved Harry, sending him stumbling across the circle of older Slytherins
//to another set of hands that shoved him again. Harry had long since passed the
//point of trying not to cry, and was now just trying not to fall down.

// 3588
//“What are you, Potter?” said Derrick.

// 3589
//“A, l-loser, I lose, I give up, you win, you’re b-better, than me, please stop
//-”

// 3590
//Harry tripped over a foot and went crashing to the ground, hands not quite able
//to catch himself. He was dazed for a moment, then began struggling to his feet
//again -

// 3591
//“__Enough!__” said Professor Quirrell’s voice, sounding sharp enough to
//cut iron. “Step away from Mr. Potter!”

// 3592
//Harry saw the surprised looks on their faces. The chill in his blood, which had
//been flowing and ebbing, smiled in cold satisfaction.

// 3593
//Then Harry collapsed to the mat.

// 3594
//Professor Quirrell talked. There were gasps from the older Slytherins.

// 3595
//“And I believe the scion of Malfoy has something he wants to explain to you as
//well,” finished Professor Quirrell.

// 3596
//Draco’s voice started talking. His voice sounded almost as sharp as professor
//Quirrell’s, it had acquired the same cadence Draco had used to imitate his
//father, and it was saying things like __could have put Slytherin House in
//jeopardy__ and __who knows how many allies in this school alone __and
//__total lack of awareness, never mind cunning__ and__ dull thugs,
//useful for nothing but lackeys__ and something in Harry’s hindbrain, despite
//everything he knew, was designating Draco as an ally.

// 3597
//Harry ached all over, was probably bruised, his body felt cold, his mind
//utterly exhausted. He tried to think of Fawkes’s song, but without the phoenix
//present he couldn’t remember the melody and when he tried to imagine it he
//couldn’t seem to think of anything except a bird chirping.

// 3598
//Then Draco stopped talking and Professor Quirrell told the older Slytherins
//they were dismissed, and Harry opened his eyes and struggled to sit up, “Wait,”
//Harry said, forcing the words out, “there’s something, I want, to say, to them
//-”

// 3599
//“Wait on Mr. Potter,” Professor Quirrell said coldly to the departing
//Slytherins.

// 3600
//Harry swayed to his feet. He was careful not to look in the direction of his
//classmates. He didn’t want to see how they were looking at him now. He didn’t
//want to see their pity.

// 3601
//So instead Harry looked at the older Slytherins, who still seemed to be in a
//state of shock. They stared back at him. Dread was on their faces.

// 3602
//His dark side, when it was in control, had held to the imagination of this
//moment, and went on pretending to lose.

// 3603
//Harry said, “No one will -”

// 3604
//“Stop,” said Professor Quirrell. “If that’s what I think it is, please wait
//until after they’re gone. They’ll hear about it later. We all have our lessons
//to learn, Mr. Potter.”

// 3605
//“All right,” Harry said.

// 3606
//“You. Go.”

// 3607
//The older Slytherins fled and the door closed behind them.

// 3608
//“No one’s to take any revenge on them,” Harry said hoarsely. “That’s a request
//to anyone who considers themselves my friend. I had my lesson to learn, they
//helped me learn it, they had their lesson to learn too, it’s over. If you tell
//this story, make sure you tell that part too.”

// 3609
//Harry turned to look at Professor Quirrell.

// 3610
//“You lost,” said Professor Quirrell, his voice gentle for the first time. It
//sounded strange coming from the professor, like his voice shouldn’t even be
//able to do that.

// 3611
//Harry __had__ lost. There had been moments when the cold anger had faded
//entirely, replaced by fear, and during those moments he’d begged the older
//Slytherins and he’d meant it…

// 3612
//“And are you yet alive?” said Professor Quirrell, still with that strange
//gentleness.

// 3613
//Harry managed to nod.

// 3614
//“Not all losing is like this,” said Professor Quirrell. “There are compromises
//and negotiated surrenders. There are other ways to placate bullies. There is a
//whole art form to manipulating others by letting them be dominant over you. But
//first, losing must be __thinkable__. Will you remember how you lost?”

// 3615
//“Yes.”

// 3616
//“Will you be able to lose?”

// 3617
//“I… think so…”

// 3618
//“I think so too.” Professor Quirrell bowed so low that his thin hair almost
//touched the floor. “Congratulations, Harry Potter, you win.”

// 3619
//There was no single source, no first mover, the applause started all at once
//like a massive thunderclap.

// 3620
//Harry’s couldn’t keep the shock from his face. He risked a glance at his
//classmates, and he saw their faces showing not pity but awe. The applause was
//coming from Ravenclaw and Gryffindor and Hufflepuff and even Slytherin,
//probably because Draco Malfoy was applauding too. Some students were standing
//up from their chairs and half of Gryffindor was standing on their desks.

// 3621
//So Harry stood there, swaying, letting their respect wash over him, feeling
//stronger, and maybe even a little healed.

// 3622
//Professor Quirrell waited for the applause to die away. It took quite a while.

// 3623
//“Surprised, Mr. Potter?” Professor Quirrell said. His voice sounded amused.
//“You have just found out that the real world does not __always__ work like
//your worst nightmares. Yes, if you had been some poor anonymous boy being
//abused, then they would probably have respected you less afterward, pitied you
//even as they comforted you from their loftier perches. That __is__ human
//nature, I’m afraid. But __you__ they already know for a figure of power.
//And they saw you confront your fear and keep confronting it, even though you
//could have walked away at any time. Did you think less of __me__ when I
//told you that I had deliberately endured being spat upon?”

// 3624
//Harry felt a burning sensation in his throat and frantically clamped down. He
//didn’t trust this miraculous respect enough to start crying again in front of
//it.

// 3625
//“Your __extraordinary__ achievement in my class deserves an extraordinary
//reward, Harry Potter. Please accept it with my compliments on behalf of my
//House, and remember from this day forward that not all Slytherins are alike.
//There are Slytherins, and then there are Slytherins.” Professor Quirrell was
//smiling quite broadly as he said this. “Fifty-one points to Ravenclaw.”

// 3626
//There was a shocked pause and then pandemonium broke out among the Ravenclaw
//students, howling and whistling and cheering.

// 3627
//(And in the same moment Harry felt something __wrong__ about that,
//Professor McGonagall had been right, there __should__ have been
//consequences, there should have been a cost and a price to be paid, you
//couldn’t just put everything back the way it was like that -)

// 3628
//But Harry saw the elated faces in Ravenclaw and knew he couldn’t possibly say
//no.

// 3629
//His brain made a suggestion. It was a good suggestion. Harry could not even
//believe his brain was still keeping him upright, let alone producing good
//suggestions.

// 3630
//“Professor Quirrell,” Harry said, as clearly as he could through his burning
//throat. “You are everything a member of your House should be, and I think you
//must be just what Salazar Slytherin had in mind when he helped found Hogwarts.
//I thank you and your House,” Draco was very slightly nodding and subtly turning
//his finger, __keep going__, “and I think this calls for three cheers for
//Slytherin. With me, everyone?” Harry paused. “__Huzzah!__” Only a few
//people managed to join in on the first try. ”__Huzzah!__” This time most
//of Ravenclaw was in on it. ”__Huzzah!__” That was almost all of Ravenclaw,
//a scattering of Hufflepuffs and around a quarter of Gryffindor.

// 3631
//Draco’s hand moved into a small, quick, thumbs-up gesture.

// 3632
//Most of the Slytherins had expressions of sheer shock. A few were staring at
//Professor Quirrell in wonder. Blaise Zabini was looking at Harry with a
//calculating, intrigued expression.

// 3633
//Professor Quirrell bowed. “Thank __you__, Harry Potter,” he said, still
//with that broad smile. He turned to the class. “Now, believe it or not, we
//still have half an hour left in this session, and that is enough to introduce
//the Simple Shield. Mr. Potter, of course, is going off and taking a well-earned
//rest.”

// 3634
//“I can -”

// 3635
//“Idiot,” Professor Quirrell said fondly. The class was already laughing. “Your
//classmates can teach you afterward, or I’ll tutor you privately if that’s what
//it takes. But __right now__, you’re going through the third door from the
//left in the back of the stage, where you will find a bed, an assortment of
//exceptionally tasty snacks, and some extremely light reading from the Hogwarts
//library. You may not take anything else with you, particularly not your
//textbooks. Now go.”

// 3636
//Harry went.