Safety cleanup

[adeebshihadeh]

• centralize controls_allowed setting
  • block setting on "no entries", like addr checks, lagging, etc.
• AddrCheckStruct's mutliple allowed messages is bug prone, e.g. defining the same message on either bus 0 and 2 relies on the relay opening before the checks run
• TX hook should be a whitelist more explicitly
• RX hook shouldn't run if msg isn't in AddrCheckStruct and valid
• move always blocked addresses form forward hook into a function, so that we can check all of them instead of a single one in the relay malfunction checks