ci: remove ninja for all but windows, for us it is slower than make -j2

[braindigitalis]

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[Jaskowicz1]

I like the branch name 👍

[braindigitalis]

I'm done tweaking this now, ready for review.
2x speed improvement in Linux and mac builds, 25% speed increases in windows. moved voice connection unit tests to extended as they are no longer reliable on GitHub runners.